I am currently reading a book with a few other friends, and I came across a sentence that gave me some insight into the person that I have become. The sentence reads, “People don’t want to be told that their experiences were wrong…” This sentence struck a chord with me, and I started to see that many of my decisions were based on fear of being wrong.
In my past I have stayed away from relationships that might not work out, I tried not to involve myself in activities that people would frown upon, or make a decision that would reflect negatively on me. Instead I have sought after safe, secure, and rational decision making. Some people live with no regrets, but I tried to live with no wrong experiences.
The problem with that mentality is it can be paralyzing state of mind to live in. No human being can live like that. I have a long list of wrongs, and experiences that I do regret. By I am now mature enough in my own identity to see how those experiences have shaped me. It’s like a tattoo that you got when you were 17, it wasn’t wrong to get that tattoo (unless it was a snake on your neck), but that tattoo is a reflection of who you were in that moment of your life. My hope is to change my mentality from making decisions out of fear, to making decisions out of convictions, passions, and love.
When your passions drive your decision making, your life will feel less safe, and more alive. Your passions will compel you to take risks, be bold, and bring change. I encourage you to experience more and question less. Don’t fear failure, but rather fear mediocrity.
-Matt
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Nice work, B.
Wise words Sue! Thanks.
So true. You can’t have regretsnifmyou aren’t living recklessly. I’d rather look back and think, damn I was a bit crazy, rather than, sorrow, what a wasted life.
No paralyzing here! Live it now.
Great insights, Matt. It is so easy to make life’s decisions in pursuit of the approval of others. Ultimately, pursuing God’s purpose for your life will be the most rewarding, even if it’s harder.
It’s the regret minimization framework at work. It took me 2 years to engineer my own layoff, but I finally did it and announced so today. I didn’t want to have any regrets looking back on my life, not taking the leap.
Sam
Sam that is huge! Sometimes it is fear of not living fully, that propels us to overcome our fears.
Can I take this idea and run with it? OK Thanks. Think about decisions you made as a child. They were stupid. Think about decisions you made as an adolescent. They were also stupid. Think about decisions you’ve made recently. Yea, those were also stupid. Now before you think I am simply a pessimist, consider this: Maybe a lot of decisions you are making now are also really stupid. BUT, maybe a lot of decisions you are making now are also very good. Going back and forth in time, we can now assume that maybe not so many of the decisions you made were really that stupid. OR, maybe the decisions you WILL MAKE in the future, no matter how hard you try, are also going to be stupid. That leaves us with the present. You should always remember that you aren’t ALWAYS going to make the right decision, so you have to weight your day-to-day decision-making by other means. You have to go with your heart, your faith, and your “gut”. Personally I think that’s really the only way to know that you’re doing your best. Well, that, along with realizing that every day you wake up you shouldn’t think that you’ve got it all figured out.
word buddy.